Flipping the Script: How to Have a Mindset Makeover
Flipping the Script: How to Have a Mindset Makeover
“I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel.”
Do you remember watching the Charlie Brown cartoons when you were young? Or reading the Peanuts comics in the Sunday paper? Charlie Brown was a loveable character who spent a lot of time beating himself up and feeling like a failure. If you ever find your inner voice sounding a little too Charlie Brown-ish, this blog has some great tips for you!
There’s no point trying to change. I always fail anyway.
I’m never going to get better at this.
I’m not smart enough to figure this out.
I always do this. I always mess this up.
No one wants me around. I always push people away.
As we get older, we start thinking more about all those fun things that determine how healthy our body is. We might keep track of (and seek to improve) our blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, or fitness levels. But when’s the last time we did a check-up on our mindset? Our assumptions and expectations about how we view ourselves and things in our life (that’s what we mean by mindset) have a lot to do with our overall health, but don’t get enough attention.
Our mindset affects our outcomes. Being aware of our mindset and taking steps to change it when necessary is essential to achieve the results we want. Shaping our mindset can improve our health, decrease stress, and help us deal with challenges that come up.
So how do we have a healthy mindset? What do we do when we need a tune-up? When changing thoughts and habits, it’s best to start internally and work inside-out. Let’s start with positive self-talk and self-acceptance.
Positive self-talk
The little discussions we have with ourselves—our internal dialogue—is a crucial area to focus on. Are we saying negative or positive things to ourselves? When we think about outcomes in our life, are we thinking hopefully or expecting disaster at every turn? Everything that we say, do, or repeat to ourselves over a period of time (30 days or more) becomes an unconscious conditioned habit. What self-talk habits do we need to improve?
Try this: It’s important to be deliberate about creating more positive self-talk. The next time you say something like this in your head: “I messed up again. I always mess up. Why do I even try? I’m never going to do this right,” try consciously changing that inner dialogue to, “This thing has been really challenging for me, and I haven’t mastered it yet. It’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s awesome that I keep trying. I am persistent. I’m going to figure this out.”
Consciously making a habit of positive self-talk can increase confidence, build resilience, reduce stress, enhance our relationships, and improve mental and physical health. Focusing on being optimistic and on what we want to happen, instead of dwelling on past failures or worst-case scenarios, can have amazing results. The more we’re able to think positively about ourselves and about outcomes we want, the more successful we’ll be.
Self-Acceptance
Everyone is unique and beautiful in their own right. Are we aware of our own unique qualities, interests, and talents? It is important to recognize, appreciate and focus on our positive talents. We should not spend time or energy focusing on our perceived weaknesses. Realizing all the wonderful things about ourselves, and all the areas we’re strong in, can help build and expand those capabilities. It’s more useful to direct our attention to areas where we already excel.
Some of us aren’t in the habit (there’s that word again) of recognizing our own strengths. It might take some practice, as all habits do, and it’s okay to be creative as we’re getting started.
Try this: What are your positive traits? Make a list of all the good things about who you are. What makes you unique? What makes you happy? Write down your strengths and then praise yourself. Yes, praise yourself—and do this every day by reading your list out loud or posting some of your positive qualities or strengths.
We practice self-acceptance when we are compassionate towards ourselves. We can embrace our imperfections, challenge unrealistic standards we have for ourselves, avoid comparing ourselves to others (especially on social media), forgive ourselves for mistakes, and set boundaries to remind ourselves that we are worthwhile and important. Would we talk to our best friend or our child the way we are speaking to ourselves? Would we berate them for falling short sometimes, for making mistakes, or for not being perfect? We need to remember to love ourselves at least as much as we love the other important people in our lives.
Positive self-talk is an amazing tool to use as we learn to accept, build up, and appreciate ourselves. Self-acceptance is crucial to feeling peace and happiness. Our mindset has a substantial impact on our mental, emotional, and physical health, and time spent forging healthier habits is never wasted.
Mindset Makeover
What is negatively impacting your mindset and standing in the way of you achieving your goals? Do you struggle with negative self-talk or self-acceptance? Let’s talk about it during my free office hours on Facebook every 2nd and 4th Saturday at 11 AM MST and we’ll figure out how to give your mindset a much-needed tune-up!
Watch for more great tips about working on a Healthy Mindset in next week’s blog!