Self Care: It’s Not Always What You Think
Self Care: It’s Not Always What You Think
Have you ever received unhelpful advice or comments about how to take care of yourself?
A new mom might hear a lot of, “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” or “At least you have a healthy baby. Nothing else really matters, right?” These comments aren’t helpful in this huge transition while many are still dealing with pregnancy or birth trauma and trying to figure out how to keep a tiny human alive.
A young professional might hear, “This is the most important part of your career. You have to put in the work and hours now if you want to be successful,” when they’re completely drowning, on the verge of a mental breakdown, and aren’t even sure if they really want to be in this career anymore. “I just get a massage every week, and that fixes me right up,” might not be the helpful life hack someone else thinks it is.
A stay-at-home mom who can barely have a complete thought or get a single task done without being interrupted four times is sometimes inundated with, “Oh, soak up every moment! You’re going to miss this!” People make jokes about sitting in the car for three minutes, grocery shopping without any children, or taking $30 out of the budget for a cheap haircut all being “self care” at that stage.
Even older adults and seniors get plenty of advice. Friends, family, and even doctors might assume their problems are easy to fix, especially if they don’t have any young kids to care for or their careers are well-established.
“Why don’t you try losing 30 pounds and see if it helps? If that doesn’t work, come back and we’ll talk again.”
“Wow, you’ve been grumpy lately. Maybe you need a spa day.”
“If you just went to the gym every day you wouldn’t be anxious anymore.”
“You just need to do stuff for you. Be selfish once in a while!”
“You need a week in Hawaii.”
“Just hire a housekeeper. You shouldn’t be a maid.”
“You’re focusing on the wrong things.”
Most of this advice is good, and probably worked for someone. Unfortunately, self care is not a one-size-fits-all.
Think about something you do to try to take care of yourself and reduce stress. Does it help you feel better? Do you feel more rested or relaxed after? Better connected? More grounded? If so, it’s self care for you.
Self care will look different for every person, and it might change for you in different life stages. But it’s possible that you haven’t found what’s most rejuvenating yet, and you might need to think outside the box. Traditional “self care” often focuses on sensory experiences and spa visits. Cucumbers on your eyes, a full massage, the works. That’s really taking care of yourself, right?
While taking good care of yourself physically (good sleep, nutritious food, exercise that you enjoy) is a key piece, it’s worth taking time to find something else that fills your cup as well. Here are some unconventional self-care ideas that go a bit beyond the stereotypical bubble bath and chocolate, but can be equally rewarding:
Creative Writing: Write stories, poetry, or even start a blog. Expressing yourself creatively can be therapeutic and help process emotions.
Learning a New Skill: Pick up a musical instrument, learn a new language, or take an online course in something you've always been curious about. You might make connections with others who also enjoy it.
Nature Walks or Hikes: Explore local trails or parks. Immersing yourself in nature can be incredibly refreshing and rejuvenating.
Gardening: Even if you don't have a garden, you can grow indoor plants. Caring for plants can be meditative and satisfying.
Cooking or Baking: Try out new recipes, experiment with different cuisines, or bake something you've never tried before.
Volunteer Work or Community Involvement: Attend local events, join clubs, or participate in community projects. Helping others can provide a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Find a cause you're passionate about and contribute your time. Building connections enhances your sense of belonging.
DIY Projects: Get crafty and create something with your hands! Whether it's woodworking, knitting, or upcycling old items, it can be very rewarding.
Meditative Exercise: Try activities like Tai Chi or Qigong, which combine gentle movements with mindfulness and deep breathing.
Explore Your City: Visit local art galleries, museums, or street art exhibitions. Sometimes, viewing others' creativity can spark your own.
Animal Encounters: Spend quality time with a pet or volunteer at an animal shelter. Animals can provide comfort and companionship.
Writing Letters or Journaling: Take time to write heartfelt letters to friends or family. It's a thoughtful way to connect and reflect. Journaling can help you process your emotions and track your personal growth.
Digital Detox: Spend a day away from screens. Engage in activities that don’t involve technology to give your mind a break.
Maybe you do have small kids at home, and self care is letting them watch a show while you let yourself breathe or just talk to a close friend. Or maybe you’re on the other side of life and find yourself needing more connection or to feel useful. No matter which stage you’re in, it’s important that you find something that helps you feel centered and ready to tackle another day.
Having a hard time finding ways to recharge your batteries? Let’s set up a time to talk and maybe I can help you figure out what’s missing from your life!