Contextual Excellence: Shaping the Life You Desire, One Habit at a Time
Contextual Excellence: Shaping the Life You Desire, One Habit at a Time
It’s been a day.
It feels like it’s been at least three days all rolled into one. You’re too tired to cook anything, so you pull through the Burger King that’s right before your house and grab something to eat.
“A number five, please?” you say to the speaker, too tired to think about what you’re actually in the mood for. That’s your go-to, and you don't want to make any more decisions today. You pay at the window and tear into your bag, digging out a cheeseburger with one hand while maneuvering back out onto the road with the other.
You arrive home five minutes later, most of the food gone, and not even remembering how you got there. You throw away the trash as you go inside, greet your cat and fill up their food and water. You should probably exercise, but it’s hard when your day has been so long. Maybe you’ll just watch TV for a little while, then go for a walk.
You turn the TV on and wander back into the kitchen, looking for something. Oh. Chips sound good. You just ate, but it’s nice to have something to crunch on while you watch your favorite shows.
Three hours later, you realize it’s dark outside, and it’s getting close to bedtime. Way too late for exercise. Tomorrow for sure. There are several bowls and wrappers next to you, and Netflix is asking you if you’re still watching. Whoops. How did that happen?
We live in patterns. Our behavior is often triggered by context.
Consider the smoker who automatically lights up in his car. The people who come home and immediately change from their “outside” or “work” clothes into their pajamas. The couples who feel they have to leave the house to have a “date” and spend focused time with each other. The hypnotherapist who can only hypnotize people in his or her office (that’s not me, but I learned at a conference that is a problem for some!). Context is another reason why we relax on vacation. We are not reminded about our tasks and work when we change our environment.
Context ruling our behavior is not positive or negative. It is neutral. It’s kind of like interest (financially speaking). Those who understand it, earn it, and those who don’t, pay it. Context can be used to our benefit as well, when we understand it and use it deliberately.
We can use context to break bad habits, or to start new ones. Here are some helpful ways to use our environment instead of being controlled by it.
Triggers: Different environments might not have the same triggers that prompt the habit. For example, if we’re trying to quit snacking while watching TV, changing the room where we watch TV can break the association between watching TV and snacking. In the same way, we can create new triggers to help us jumpstart better habits. Leaving our running shoes by the bedroom door might remind us to get dressed for exercise before we leave the room. The shoes are a new cue that trigger our conscious mind so that we pause and are reminded of our goals.
Obstacles: Changing the environment can create physical barriers that make it harder to engage in the habit. For instance, if we want to reduce phone use before bed, leaving the phone outside our bedroom makes it less accessible. Removing obstacles increases the likelihood we will do the things we desire. What if the ingredients for a healthy smoothie were all stored within the same cupboard as our blender, with the frozen ones all having a prime spot in our freezer? It seems like it only saves a minute or two, if that, but making healthy choices easier increases the likelihood we will make them enough to turn them into a habit.
Associations: By associating a different behavior with a specific environment, we can replace the habit with a new, healthier one. For instance, if we usually listen to the news on our commute (which often leaves us feeling frustrated or depressed), we might try re-assigning that time to listening to some of our favorite music, an enjoyable audiobook, or even pre-recorded affirmations. Imagine the difference that might make in our days!
Behavior Disruption: Simply disrupting the routine associated with the habit can make it easier to break. A change in environment or context can break the habitual loop and give us a chance to consciously decide against the habit. If we find ourselves defaulting to eating at the same fast food places on our way home each week, maybe it’s time to pick a new path. One that goes right by our favorite healthy grocery story, or even a Salad and Go, might make a difference.
Mindfulness and Awareness: Changing contexts can make us more mindful of our actions. When we’re in a new environment, we might be more conscious of our behavior, making it easier to resist the habit. If we want to stop smoking, but we always light up when we walk out on our back porch in the morning, we might consider consciously choosing a new place to drink our morning coffee. Maybe near a window with a nice view, or even out on the front porch if we still prefer being outside.
Remember, even when we’ve been working on our mindset, breaking a habit often requires more than one strategy. Changing the context is one aspect, but using other techniques like mindfulness, substituting healthier habits, and cultivating or leaning into a supportive environment can strengthen our efforts to overcome some bad habits or to start some better ones.
You can do this! If you’d like some help figuring out how to change your context to snuff out an unwanted habit or kick-start a new one, come chat with me during my free office hours on Facebook every 2nd and 4th Saturday at 11 AM MST!